A1 SPEAKS          

Wow! Hiya, readers! It's me again, your old friend A1 Reviews!! "Rumours of my death have been"... heh heh heh... Who said that? Well, anyway...
Lots of people thought they could push me around!! Well, they'll regret it! You understand that I have numerous enemies. Certain jesuitical tendencies within the... Hmm... An influential... Cough cough... Well, I needn't say any more... You understand implicitly what I'm talking about... I admit it, I'm not at my best right now, but just you wait!
Anyway, the "webmaster" of harmonyzone dot org has generously offered to archive a textdump selection from the A1Reviews.tumblr gamechat blog and deathkult while I relocate my operations out of the range of international law. A print collection tentatively titled "Lonely At The Top: The Very Best Of A1 Reviews" is set for release by Faber whenever they start returning my calls. Obviously this is an interim solution but please bear with us through this stressful time while I get back on my feet!!!!!!


                                                                                                                                                                    What's next for the A1 brand? Cards on the table - a platform on kotaku from which to fling pitch at my cultural opponents - private military contracts within the promising bioweapon sector - Nindendy spokesperson status - hats - microtransactions - new wave - thousands more reasons why everyone should listen to me and my opinions about anything! Yahoo! Whats my secret? Human blood! Keep it to yourself! Yes, your old pal A1 will be controlling the discourse for a long while yet!
                                                                                                          Pump pump - boy, I'm roaring! I'm hopping! AIIIEEEE! Did you know I haven't had an orgasm in 13 months? Feel these arms. Pretty ripped, right? We gain strength by devouring our offspring, like Saturn, or the irish.

- A1 OUT.